Today, I am turning 48, and entering the second quarter of the century.
I haven't posted anything since March, 2023, a high point of my life. Life became bumpy later that year due to Igel's health, and a long recovery in 2024. Now things have become stabilized. Challenges still ahead, but the toughest times are behind us, I think.
The experience has humbled me. The moon waxes only to wane, and water brims only to overflow. My early part of 2023 was simply too good; adversity was destined to happen afterwards. And it did.
But we overcame it with strength, resilience, and a new perspective of life. It was a timely reminder of what truly matters. This shift of perspective was reinforced by two friends' passing recently, both at a young age. Death reminds us of the deeper meaning of life.
I just finished reading Azra Raza's The First Cell, a powerful and touching account from an oncologist who shares her treatment of terminal cancer patients. I was deeply moved by her immense empathy, showing the dignity of her patients by narrating their suffering and pains. For a person who encounters death on the daily basis, despair, rather than false hope and contrived optimism, is the motor to make changes.
We are not at the level of despair. Far from it. But that is a perspective we need, so we can embrace life and live it to the fullest, appreciating its many small elements but without losing sight of what is happening in the larger, troubled world.
At this point, my top priority is to take care of the family and support Igel's tenure effort, especially finishing her book. This means more share of childcare work, which I am happy to do. It is work, but such joyful work growing up together with Lulu. She is just delightful. Hopefully, by the end of this year, when Igel have finished her book manuscript, the tenure pressure will drop substantially, for her and for the whole family. Looking forward to that!
Now my birthday wishes & New Year's resolutions
(1) Take good care of Lulu, Year 2 is often called "Terrible 2," but she has not become "terrible" yet. I hope that as she is growing, she won't get sick as often as last winter. She also needs to have her own room, drop her binky permanently, take bath/shower at a different place, start potty training, etc. The list goes on, but I am happy to proceed with these routine stuff in which I am sure Lulu will continue to give us surprises and wonderful enlightenment.
(2) Support Igel's effort of finishing her magnum opus manuscript, while also keeping an eye on her health condition. Being a caregiver is no easy a task, but it is also a privilege. Being a historian of medicine helps, as it gives me knowledge and insights about the medical system we have today, particularly its limits. This personal experience may also in turn affect my intellectual pursuit (think about the history of pain, for example). We will see.
(3) On my own work, 2024 is a year I still spent a substantial amount of time wrapping up my first book, especially getting the Chinese translation published. It is time to move on since I don't want to sleep on the past work. 2025 should be the year I make some progress on my second book project. The project has been slowed down due to family matters, but I should make progress nonetheless—any progress, no matter how small it is, is good. "Incremental" and "persistent" are my mantras now.
Here are some specific goals for my second book project this year:
a) Conference on Asian medicine this April. This is my first time organizing a conference, taking the driver's seat. It's been a stimulating and enjoyable experience thus far working with Genie, despite lots of work involved. Besides knowing the field better, especially the works from junior scholars, I will probably get an article published out of this conference, either in a special issue and an edited volume. My plan is to finish the manuscript of that article, likely on the history of smell in Chinese medicine, by the end of this year. That would be my third publication related to my second book project, and I think that should be enough before delving into the writing of the book.
b) More fieldwork research in Asia. The only time I can do this is this summer. I need to coordinate with Igel about childcare. I need to think hard on what are essential materials I need to acquire from Asia to advance my second project. I've already had access to Michigan database, which is a bless. Maybe I don't need to travel to Asia this summer as all, though I still need to think of ways to spend the money given to me by UB.
c) Fellowship application. NEH is the one I plan to apply this spring. It is a competitive fellowship, but I should apply anyway. I have already postponed the application for a year, so shouldn't postpone it again. I have a busy spring schedule, but should give this a top priority. It is also an opportunity to rethink the themes and organization of my book, after a long while.
Overall, my goal is to get my second book published in about 5 years, which is not a particularly ambitious plan. Besides taking care of the family, more administrative work will probably pile up in the following years—should I take the role of the Director of the Asian Studies Program? We will see.
(4) Logistics. It never ends. But at least I should set up the infrastructure in the new house, such as the offices of Igel's and my offices, as well as Lulu's own room. A house without bookshelves is not a house worth living in. For the old house, we will see what to do with it. But at least I should maintain it as is and fix several key things (the heater upstairs, the ceiling downstairs, etc.). More of a summer project.
(5) Self-care. This is almost entirely ignored in 2024. I am not young anymore, and having a healthy body is not just good for myself, but a responsible thing for the family. I need more and regular exercise, such as swimming, biking, & hiking, and guarantee enough sleep. I think the schedule of going to bed early, together with Lulu, and getting up early, at 5am, has been working well for me. I should keep that, so I can have at least 7 hours of sleep every day. I should also treat my cheilitis more seriously if it doesn't go away. Relatedly, I should change the primary doctor of both me and Igel.
(6) Any time for fun? I should. Continue reading novels on Saturday mornings in a comfy café and watching movies from time to time during weekends. More trips to Toronto would be fun. And perhaps a major trip to an exotic place in the coming holiday season at the end of the year? More social activities as well with close friends (Kristin, Susan, Erik, Margo, etc.) as I enjoy them very much, even if I am a quiet boy.
(7) Last but not the least, be more efficient and focused. "Efficient" means getting the 80% unimportant things done in 20% of my time; "focused" means getting the 20% important things done in 80% of my time. I am too obsessed, borderline OCD, on details, such as emails, which is unhealthy. I should find a way to handle emails more efficiently, starting from not proofreading my scripts, at least the 95% unimportant ones. It is a psychological thing that I need to overcome. I will be very happy if I can make progress on that.
That is all. I don't think I set up high goals for this year. Take it easy but move forward steadily and incrementally. The difficulties are temporary and the future is bright. I am, in the end, an incurable optimist.
