Sayonara, Ayu san!

I met Ayu san when we both took Allan's course on the history of medicine a few years ago. She was a visiting scholar, doing research on athlete foot. In one section, we discussed a book called Modern Period - how 20th century American women embraced modern hygiene to manage their menstrual cycles. Ayu san said, in a dramatic yet assertive way, that Japanese women have the ability to control their periods. This amazed the American audience. 

And that showed Ayu san's character. She has great interest in, and actually believe in, certain things that we might regard mystical or even superstitious. We have talked about, on multiple occasions, her experiences with psychic readers. The messages she received from them became pivotal guides for her life, especially her personal life. This strong spiritual commitment provided her confidence and reassurance that sustains her life. 

On the surface, Ayu san is one of those achievers, finishing her degree quickly and obtaining one of the most competitive post-docs in Japan. She constantly works, even if she is aware of its caveats. But when I talked to her more, I found her quite an honest and warm person. She is one of my few friends to whom I can confide personal feelings about life, especially love life. She has a clear vision of what she is looking for, a vision gained from her psychic reader. It is a high, and unconventional ideal, maybe too high to be practical. Sometimes I felt conflicted when she asked advice from me. Should I encourage her? Should I recommend she be more realistic? I don't know. I see myself in her. 

"I have to believe in it, right, Yan san? Otherwise, how can I make it happen?"

Something in the past also bothered her - the tragic death of her former advisor. She has been trying to find the reason, but with no avail. In front of death, we all become powerless. This unpleasant memory lingers with Ayu san: underneath her ambitious and assertive face lies a vulnerable and sad heart. 

Ayu san is leaving, going back to Japan. People come and go, very typical of Cambridge culture. Whichever the pathway that Ayu san is taking, I wish her best luck. A person like her - sincere, idealistic, caring, and vulnerable, deserves a good life.